Time. To. Get. The. Ball. Rolling...Literally.
By Shane Evans
It’s here. It’s finally here. The wait is over. Football is back. No more baseball. No more soccer. Proper football has returned to save us from the doldrums of summer.Now, I know what you’re all thinking... the regular season doesn’t start until next weekend! Right? Right. So I’ve decided to treat you to TWO preview columns. This week’s will take a look at the first half of the league, with next week’s looking at the other 10. As an added bonus, you get a Community Shield preview here and next week, three full match previews to kick off the year. Boomshakalaka!
After all, you lot expect the best and who am I not to deliver? I’ve been doing it for four seasons and I can’t stop now. Wouldn’t be prudent. The previews themselves will have a musical element, as I tend to enjoy the culture side of things. This year, I’ll link every team to a band. The band/team will display similar qualities which I’ll elaborate on at that time. Also, no top 40 crap here... only good music.
The only wrinkle I’ll put in them is that I won’t put each team’s expected finish in there, as I have in the past. Instead, I’ll just draw up my predicted table in next week’s column. Will be a little mini surprise for you all!
Following those lovely previews, we’ll actually have a match to examine. Not sure you forgot about this, but the FA Community Shield is this Sunday. It’s a real match, for a real trophy and is a juicy matchup to boot as Manchester United and Manchester City will be going at it once more. Color me all kinds of excited.
Right. I cannot contain myself any longer. We’ll go in alphabetical order, as you do, starting with (as always, until Accrington Stanley get promoted) everyone’s favorite screw ups, the Arsenal.
Arsenal
2010-11 Finish: 4th (19-11-8, 68 points)
Season outlook: The Gunners will go into 2011 with an almost identical squad to the one they fielded last term. We all saw how that worked out for them. Having said that though, a year of growth and cohesion could help them take the next step. It’s just that lingering Cesc/Nasri business that needs to be sorted, and soon.
Biggest addition: Gervinho
Biggest subtraction: Cesc Fabregas (presumably)
Star player in 2011-12: Jack Wilshere
Band it resembles: Arcade Fire - Young, creative and captivating... but are they really that good? Only time will tell if they build on their prior triumphs.
Aston Villa
2010-11 Finish: 9th (12-12-14, 48 points)
Season outlook: A number of key names walked out the door at Villa Park this summer and it’ll be interesting to see if the squad that former enemy Alex McLeish has put together will compete the way it once did under Martin O’Neill. I’m not so sure.
Biggest addition: Charles N’Zogbia
Biggest subtraction: Ashley Young
Star player in 2011-12: Shay Given
Band it resembles: Queens of the Stone Age - Something of a cast of characters. Can’t really tell if they’re going to take over the world or just flounder. Has equal chance at both if they could only stay consistent.
Blackburn Rovers
2010-11 Finish: 15th (11-10-17, 43 points)
Season outlook: Trying desperately all summer to hold on to its core players, Blackburn has seemingly won in its fight to keep Christopher Samba, though Phil Jones got away. With some money behind them, Rovers are trying to build on a disappointing year last year and will want to get back to their EPL glory days.
Biggest addition: David Goodwillie
Biggest subtraction: Phil Jones
Star player in 2011-12: Christopher Samba
Band it resembles: Cake - A slightly quirky bunch (see recent Venky’s commercial) but entertaining and fun to watch. Unlikely that it’ll ever recapture former stardom, unfortunately.
Bolton Wanderers
2010-11 Finish: 14th (12-10-16, 46 points)
Season outlook: I like Owen Coyle. I feel like he has the chops to make it in the EPL and to be a David Moyes-esque type manager. Even with a so-so team like Bolton, he gets the best out of his players and I think it’ll improve this season.
Biggest addition: Darren Pratley
Biggest subtraction: Matthew Taylor
Star player in 2011-12: Stuart Holden
Band it resembles: The Hives - Remember them? Great to listen to every once in a while and some of the deeper tracks are pure magic. Too bad that no one thinks much of them…
Chelsea
2010-11 Finish: 2nd (21-8-9, 71 points)
Season outlook: We start 2011 at Stamford Bridge again under new management. New promise, new hope, all that fun stuff. Heard that one before, have you? Fact is, Chelsea picked the right guy in Andre Villas-Boas, it just remains to be seen if Mr. Roman will have the patience to stick with him if things get rough about halfway in.
Biggest addition: Andre Villas-Boas
Biggest subtraction: N/A
Star player in 2011-12: Fernando Torres
Band it resembles: Coldplay - Always in the thick of the top talk amongst those in the know. Can be a bit too soft at times and there are certainly identity issues there, but generally worth the money and produce results when it counts.
Everton
2010-11 Finish: 7th (13-15-10, 54 points)
Season outlook: Kinda like Arsenal, Everton comes into this year virtually unchanged. Unlike Arsenal, it doesn’t have all this money to spend and just doesn’t. Seventh was a stretch last year, will be even tougher this go-around.
Biggest addition: Uhh...
Biggest subtraction: James Vaughan
Star player in 2011-12: Mikel Arteta
Band it resembles: Everclear - You really can’t not like these guys. Happy go lucky and are grounded by some really big hits way back when. Would love to see them back on top, but the talent just isn’t there to make it happen.
Fulham
2010-11 Finish: 8th (11-16-11, 49 points)
Season outlook: Another new boss for the Cottagers as last year was an awkward one. With an experienced boss like Martin Jol in charge, they should do alright. Not expecting big things, but they could surprise.
Biggest addition: John Arne Riise
Biggest subtraction: John Pantsil
Star player in 2011-12: Clint Dempsey
Band it resembles: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - One of the most underrated outfits there is. Put on a quality show every time and gets no love. Still waiting for that breakout tune that will make people really take notice.
Liverpool
2010-11 Finish: 6th (17-7-14, 58 points)
Season outlook: The American money is being tossed around like it’s from a board game, but real life results will be expected. Anything outside of the top four would be considered a massive failure.
Biggest addition: Stewart Downing
Biggest subtraction: N/A
Star player in 2011-12: Luis Suarez
Band it resembles: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Currently on the comeback trail after a bit of an absence, they have all the pieces to put on a world class show... and likely will.
Manchester City
2010-11 Finish: 3rd (21-8-9, 71 points)
Season outlook: If big things were expected last season, bigger things will be on tap this year. Hugely talented and flush with cash, this is the year City makes its mark on the league, maybe even the continent. I don’t think a title is in it just yet, but it’ll be in the running.
Biggest addition: Sergio Aguero
Biggest subtraction: Carlos Tevez (presumably)
Star player in 2011-12: David Silva
Band it resembles: Muse - The only way is up. Becoming larger than life before our very eyes, these guys will soon be world beaters.
Manchester United
2010-11 Finish: 1st (23-11-4, 80 points)
Season outlook: From what I’ve seen of its preseason, Manchester United is a pretty good side. A pretty darn good side. If it is able to sign Wesley Sneijder before the end of the summer, might as well close the book on this season now.
Biggest addition: David De Gea
Biggest subtraction: Paul Scholes
Star player in 2011-12: Wayne Rooney
Band it resembles: U2 - Is there a bigger band out there right now? No, I think not. Talented and timeless, there is very little that it can’t do.
Well there you have it. The first 10 teams in TFE’s EPL Preview Edition. The remaining 10 teams will be discussed in as much detail next Friday, barring some extraordinary circumstances like I find a million dollars in a suitcase or get hit by a bus. Fingers crossed! (On the money, that is).
It also means, as I said at the start, you all have to wait another week to see how I think the league table will shake out. Sucks to be you, doesn’t it! Little spoiler here: I don’t think anyone will be too surprised with what I come up with. I expect few arguments, though they are obviously welcomed.
We aren’t finished here just yet though, as there is a Community Shield to forecast. Jolly good fun. Let us do that before I reach my internal word limit for the night. I can only type so much, you know.
The Bacon (as in Bringing it Home): FA Community Shield Style
Manchester City vs. Manchester United (Aug. 7, Wembley Stadium, 9:30 a.m. ET, Fox Soccer)
This should be something special. Whenever silverware is on the line, the match tends to be pretty solid. Whenever silverware is on the line and it’s two rivals fighting for it, it’s even better. Whenever it’s these two teams, well, hide ya kids, hide ya wife.
Make no mistake about it, these clubs do not like each other one bit. It’s going to be a testy, close match with lots of yapping back and forth about calls and non-calls. In other words, it’ll be one you won’t want to miss.
As far as how it’ll play out, it’s pretty obvious that United is the more harmonious and in-form side at the moment. Its preseason has been nearly flawless and the team is playing as a team. City however has been distracted by the Carlos Tevez saga and the continual whinging of Mario Balotelli. If you don’t want to be with the club, fine, just pick a new team, lower your astronomical wage demands and get on with it.
Anyway, the match will give us goals after a point, and I think it could be the Citizens who strike first. United is inexperienced in goal and if De Gea starts, which we all expect him to, he could rattle easily.
The quality up front is there for Sir Alex’s side though and it’ll maintain throughout, eventually taking over in the second period. Wayne Rooney will put it away late and will add another trophy to the club’s already bulging cabinet.
TFE Prediction: United edges it late on in a nearly-heart-stopping-but-not-quite-but-good-enough-for-the-Community-Shield affair 2-1.
And Finally...The Black Pudding of the Week
Wesley Sneijder, Inter Milan: I haven’t seen uninhibited flirting this hard since I was on my 8th grade weekend trip to Gettysburg (don’t ask why we went there). Jeez. Well, I guess you could count the Cesc to Barca stuff as well, but my lord does Sneijder want to go to Manchester United. If only his wages weren’t out of this world. Anyway, the move needs to happen and would benefit all parties. I just don’t want it to linger and become an uncomfortable saga that should just be squashed by all parties. They are the absolute worst. Coincidentally, that’s kind of like my first serious relationship...
No comments:
Post a Comment